xx Ella.Z

Being needy is the last option I had in mind because I used to be one and it never made him stay.  Inspired by a song from Ariana Grande which I'm currently obsessed with. I can be needy, But I don't want to seem, Like I need someone, Never to part. Or someone, To even touch me, With all one's heart. I've been needy, And it's not something, He favored, Of me wanting, His time, His space, His affection, When all I need was, A little of his attention.

Does it ever get lonely? Thinking you could live without me. Halsey's new breakup song inspired me to write out my own. Do you think of me, babe? When you're feeling high, Choking yourself w ith smokes, Of a lit-joint, Thinking you're not sorry, For a past you wish to forget, Or not quite yet? A blurred face, A silhouette. Do you think of me, babe? When you're feeling high, Or have I become a distant memory? The one you can no longer trace, Why? No longer you know my name, No longer you recognize my face, I was there, You can't deny. Do you still think of me, babe? When you're feeling high, Though I'm far for you to hold, Can you live? Being lonely, Without me? Whilst having fun, Not what I've been told, You can't.

Pianist has always been my favourite virtuoso. I once dreamt of having someone serenade me with a beautiful music played on the piano. I was trapped within a crowd of waltz dancers whom faces are etched with emptiness as if their souls were taken away by each note of music being played. Faceless with no eyes to see but for a moment, the music stopped --they paused. And I felt as if they were looking straight at me, every single one of those tortured dancing men and women. With the silence surrounded us, they craved for my help, begging me to get their feet to stop dancing. I shuddered in fear but as the music began to play once more, the art of waltz continues, unwillingly by them. They seemed to be lost in the music again, it was haunting them in a strange way that I could not understand why. I tried to help but it was no use as they could not hear me --they could only hear the background music.  And then, the orchestral music disappeared and the dancers were flown ...

God! I blame my Chinese dream guy for this. A mandarin song that sings his voice couldn't be more soothing and inspiring eh? Like a singing bird in the morning, You whistle a song for me to hear. 我爱你 Wo ai ni, it sounds enchanting, Letting me smile coated with cheer. In between the lines, I was yearning, Of your voice and touch to hold me here. And your Chinese lullaby keep on playing, To shower me with love from someone so dear.

They say home isn't a place but it's 2 eyes and a heartbeat.  You know when you hear a certain song and the lyrics just sinks deep in you. This is where I got it from, a song called Home by MGK.  I needed an escape, A journey to find a place, Along this maze, Somewhere safe, Somewhere new, Until then, I'll walk, I'll run if I had to,  Right to you, A place I belong to,  Not to go to, Take me home, Take me to you.

Perhaps the most beautiful music I ever heard is said by his lips --a whisper of his true feelings that came straight from his heart.  Our shoulders brushed as you lean in close, reaching for a gentle whisper. Words were dancing and singing in an art so soothing that got me to shiver. The music in your voice was like the sound of a beautifully played violin --momentarily changing words into a melodic tune that crept beneath my skin.  "I love you."  You said and I caught myself smiling, blushing, heavenly red on the face. You present me a music of prickling comfort that soon rouse my soul to long for its embrace. I can't help of hearing your voice, that soft but raspy of a kind which soothes my heart to the soul.  "Say it, again."  You smiled and the music began playing in my ears, that beautiful sound of my favourite melody, you.